To Be or Not To Be A Parent?
Being a Grandma is the best thing ever! I love everything about being a Grandma. However, I would never want to add any unneeded pressure to my married children to have children in order to make me a Grandma.
Continuing with our GoodGrandma℠ Parenting Series, we would like to discuss how to be a supportive parent to your child as they decide to become a parent or choose not to. We don’t always know everything going on in our married kids lives, nor should we. Perhaps we assume it’s time for them to start their family, but it’s not our place to determine when or if they should have a baby.
I realize that every adult child and all circumstance are different. My advice is a generalization and may not apply to everyone. However, perhaps our post will aid in needed dialogue with your spouse and/or child, and maybe resolve unneeded tension on this topic?
I would like to share just a few suggestions for those wanting to become a grandparent:
- It’s none of your business ~ When and if your child decides to procreate is really not up to you. You are their parent, but they are an adult, and it’s their life.
- Don’t ask or assume ~ If you feel it’s time for your adult child to start a family of their own, be patient, and don’t pry. They will tell you when they are ready.
- Stop the gossip ~ Perhaps your family and friends will inquire of you when your adult child will have a baby. Don’t add to the situation, simply state it’s their decision and you’re out of the loop.
- Avoid small talk or “conversation starters” ~ Try to steer away from “visiting” with others in regards to the topic of when your adult child will be starting their family. It’s tough, but if you do you’ll avoid unnecessary family drama. Our society has many “go to” questions, that may seem like causal conversation which are rather personal topics. Be careful, think before you say something, and use caution when discussing your child personal affairs. It’s not your place.
I would like to confess, I have made a few “Grandma Goofs!” No ones perfect, right? I have learned the hard way and I am guilty of each and every one of the suggestions. Although I have made mistakes, I am trying to learn from them. Perhaps these suggestions and IDEAS will help other grandmas avoid making my same mistakes?